Who I Am
by Tea1689
Summary: Nathan Scott is returning home, hoping for a second chance. He just wants someone to know who he is. Someone to understand him. He never meant for that person to be his brother's girlfriend. Naley, bits of Laley.


Hello!

I've been working on this one for a while now, and have decided to post it. I have a couple of chapters already completed, so I'll be able to update soon. The story is based off of the song 'Iris' by the Goo Goo dolls. It is told through the eyes of Haley. This first chapter has a brief higher rated scene, but its nothing graphic.

I want to thank my beta Autumn for helping me with this story and encouraging me to write more and to post it. So thank you.

Now to the story.

I quickly shut the door behind me, blocking out the storm raging on the other side. The weather had called for sunny skies this morning, which is why I had worn a simple skirt and high heels. And yet here I was, drenched from head-to-toe from the pouring rain because I couldn't run in my chosen attire.

I discard my now heavy purse and denim jacket, strewing them in a line from the front door to the kitchen. I toe off my high heels, moaning in delight as my feet hit the plush carpet.

It feels great to be home.

Now all I want to do is rid myself of these wet clothes and pull on one of my boyfriend's old basketball jerseys. Then I'd curl up on the sofa with a pint of ice cream and watch my afternoon soaps.

This was 'me' time, and I deserve it.

Running my fingers through my hair to loosen it, I make a beeline for my bedroom. That is, until I hear a quiet clatter coming down the hall. Funny, I could have sworn Lucas mention something about a meeting today. He surely would have called if it got cancelled.

"Lucas?" I try. No answer. I don't remembered seeing his car parked on the street. Or more telling, his jacket and shoes aren't strewn around the living room. "Luke," I try again.

Nothing. Stopping a few feet from the door, which I noted was only slightly ajar; I hear the distinct sound of a dresser drawer being shut. Peering through the small crack, a blur of brown hair catches my eye.

I don't know who is in my bedroom, in my house, but it definitely isn't Lucas. "Shit." I mumble to myself before turning on my heel and rushing back down the hallway.

"Come on." I murmur quietly, keeping one eye down the hallway. The phone rings once, twice, three times. I will Lucas to pick up. Stupid meeting! What am I supposed to do now?

I chew my lip nervously, debating what would be the smartest decision. I can't very well wait for Lucas to arrive, who knows how long that would take. I could call the cops. But what if they took too long, or the sirens spooked whoever was down there? What would he do?

I could leave; get out quickly before he even knows I am here. But who knows what he could get into? I have valuable things in this apartment. Irreplaceable things.

And I definitely can't just stand here and wait for him to appear. That'd be stupid. That only leaves one option. I hurriedly search through the cabinets for something, anything.

I feel like a character in a sitcom as I tiptoe down the hallway brandishing a frying pan. I would laugh at the stupidity if I weren't so scared. I stop for a second outside the door to take a deep breath before pushing it open. I take care not to let it squeak as I slip inside.

Whoever is in my house doesn't seem to notice. He pulls open another drawer, grabbing a sweatshirt. I take another deep breath and let it out slowly. Now or never, I tell myself.

I bring the frying pan over my head and in a quick swipe, whack the guy over the head. A sickening pang rings through the room.

"Jesus Christ!" He yelps in surprise and pain. His hand flies to the back of his head as he drops to his knees. He is fast to stand back up though and whirls around to find out who just attacked him.

"Who the hell are you!" I scream. He takes a step toward me. I take one backward and hold the pan up again, ready to swing. He wisely steps back, holding his hands up in surrender.

He gives me the once over. I can only hope that he is truly scared and not thinking of a way to overtake me. "No, who the hell are you?" He counters back at me.

He gulps the moment he finishes. Wrong answer. He winces, his hand flying up to protect himself as I bring the pan up again and prepare to swing. He is going to die, I'll make sure of it. I am going to kill him.

"Get out! Get out, get out, get out!"

I lung toward the cowering man, only to have my arm held back. I spin quickly. "Oh thank God!" I blow out ecstatically. Lucas carefully removes the weapon from my grip and tosses it to the bed.

I bury myself into his chest, never more grateful for his presence. His arms wrap securely around my shaking frame as he murmurs assurances into my ear.

"Lucas." The man sighs in relief from somewhere behind me.

"Nathan, what the hell man?" Lucas questions heatedly, his hand cupping the back of my head and holding me tight to his chest. I slowly peek out from the cotton of his shirt, casting my first actual gaze on the man.

And then I see it. The family resemblance. Nathan. As in Nathan Scott, Lucas' estranged half-brother. "What are you doing here? And more importantly, why are you in my apartment scaring the shit out of my girlfriend?"

"I get whacked in the head with a frying pan and you're worried about her?" Nathan scoffs, his hand coming up to rub the ever-growing sore spot on the back of his head.

Lucas ignores his question, casting his eyes down at me. "You okay?" I nod, slowly detangling myself from his embrace and moving to stand beside him.

"Hales, baby, why don't you go into the kitchen?" He speaks softly, offering a smile of assurance. "I just gotta talk to Nathan for a second. Why don't you put on some coffee?"

I nod my agreement, giving his cheek an appreciative kiss before stepping behind him and out of the room. As soon as I am out of sight, Lucas kicks the door closed.

"What?" Luke, come on!" I can hear Nathan plead from my place on the other side of the door. I press my ear against the door. "Look, I'm sorry. In hindsight, yeah, letting myself in wasn't the brightest idea. But I swear, I didn't even know she'd be here."

Lucas' side is a bit more difficult to hear. I hear a few heavy footsteps and then the soft mumblings of his voice. He must know that I'm here. I catch a few words: 'broke in', 'Peyton', and 'to the curb'. His voice is low and I can only make out random parts.

"Look, I'm sorry." Nathan backtracks. "I just need a place to crash for a few nights, that's it. A week, tops, and then I'm gone."

"No, no way!" Lucas' voice is much clearer this time, his temper getting the best of him.

"Luke, come on." Nathan pleads desperately. "I have no where else to go!"

"Well you should have thought of that before." Lucas bites out before opening the door. I jump back quickly and into the kitchen, attempting to look as though I wasn't eavesdropping.

"I'm serious Nathan. Get your shit and go. I'm not doing this again. I can't. And more importantly, I won't."

Their voices are less muffled and I can hear each word effortlessly as I fill the small pot with water from the tap and place it on the machine. I stand in the kitchen anxiously wringing my hands together.

"Lucas, please. It's not like that this time. I swear. It's different, I'm different. I'm just asking for a little help from my brother."

"No Nathan. No! You can't do that!" Lucas insists, though I can hear the strain in his voice from here. It's killing him. "You have no right coming in here and using that—"

"I know. Okay? I know." Nathan interrupts. "I'm sorry. But I'm begging here Luke. Please, just one last chance?"

The apartment falls deathly silent. I don't dare move, as I'm afraid I'll set something off. I wait anxiously with Nathan, wondering along with him what Lucas' reply will be.

Lucas never really talks about his family, minus his mother and his little sister. Nathan and his father are a forbidden topic between us. He's managed to keep me from knowing anything about that part of his life and I don't think I ever will. But as we wait here in silence, waiting for his response, I can't help but wonder what happened all those years ago, before I met him, that led to this very moment.

Why were two brothers this distant? It seems almost unfathomable to me, a girl who comes from a large family with a surplus of siblings that I love to death. Yes, even Taylor. I can't imagine never talking to any of them.

Why was Lucas so opposed to even talking about that aspect of his past? I've only seen a picture of Nathan once. Lucas and I had been looking through his old scrapbook from high school, a project all seniors had to complete, when he'd flipped across a picture of the two.

The two were clad in Raven's basketball jerseys, smiles bright and matching blue eyes shining. Lucas clutched a ball in one hand, Nathan a large trophy. The brothers other hands were draped across the other's shoulders. It was a sweet family picture.

Lucas paused on the picture for a moment and I could have sworn a faint smile graced his lips. But as quickly as we had landed on the page, he flipped it. I'd inquired about the other boy in the photo. He told me his name, his relation, and then never spoke of him again.

"Please Lucas."

I am not sure if it was out of compassion for Nathan or out of my own selfish desire to uncover Lucas' secrets, but I can't help but hope that Lucas will give in. I want to know more about Nathan, more about Lucas' life before I entered it. I simply want to know.

"No. I'm sorry. You've had all the chances I can give you." His voice comes out forced and I can tell that it was hard to say the words for him. The room becomes silent again, this time killing the hopes of the younger Scott.

I busy myself with finding cups as the sound of heavy steps fill the hall. I let myself look and my eyes lock on blue. Nathan pauses, staring back intently at me, the woman who'd attacked him. I expect him to be pissed. But instead of looking angry, he looks almost sad.

"Haley right?" I nod. "I'm sorry." I nod again, offering a wan smile. "Right, so I'm leaving. Again, I'm sorry."

"It was uh, nice to meet you." I offer awkwardly. He slings a bag I'd failed to see earlier by the front door on his shoulder. "And I'm sorry too, for the hitting and stuff."

He chuckles softly. He pulls the front door open, the apartment filling with cold, moist air from the storm on the other side.

"Hey Haley. Take care of him, okay? He's messed up, a little worn. But once you get past all that, he's a really great guy."

A smile comes to my lips this time as I think about his words. "Yeah, he is." I agree. A chill runs down my spine as he smiles softly back at me, the likeliness of it to Lucas' giving me an eerie feeling.

"Hales?" The softly spoken utterance of my name breaks me from my stupor I've been in since the front door shut behind Nathan. It was then, a few minutes after the door was shut, that Lucas dared to emerge from the hall. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I whisper, an odd haze filling my mind. My eyes flicker to him as he steps closer, wrapping his long arms around my waist. His eyes lock with mine, questioning my less-than-assuring answer. "I'm just, never mind. What about you?"

"I'm fine. Just worried about you."

His head falls to my shoulder and his hot breath tickles my neck as he breathes out. I giggle at the sensation and he grins against my skin. Although he'd deny it, I know that it took a lot out of him to send away Nathan like that.

"So that uh, that's Nathan, huh?" I ask hesitantly. A stupid question, I know, but I can't bring myself to find a better way to bring it up. I fear that he'd close up, get angry, and shut me out. But maybe Nathan appearing would be a blessing of sorts. A window into his past.

I simply can't help but be curious. It's in my nature I suppose. But is it wrong to want to know about his past? After all, the past is simply part of the foundation that had built the man I know and love today.

"Yeah."

"Stopping by to say hello?"

"Don't know, don't care." He replies tersely, slipping out of my embrace. A sudden chill runs through me at the loss, but I shake it off, following him into the living room and onto the couch. "It was just another stop on the Nathan Scott disaster tour."

"That's not being a little harsh, is it? He is your brother Luke. Whatever he did in the past couldn't be that bad, right?" I can feel him closing off by the second, shutting himself off from me. He's closing in on his own little world and leaving me out. I know I'm being pushy, especially about something I know nothing about, but I can't help it.

"Hales, please. Can we just drop it?"

"I'm just curious Luke. He seems decent enough—"

"Haley—"

"No. Don't 'Haley' me. He's part of your family Lucas. Your family that I know nothing about. I'm just asking for a little information. Something. Hell, I don't even know your dad's name!"

"That's because he's not worth knowing." He counters hotly, his anger beginning to get the best of him. "All I wanted to do was come home, spend a little time with the woman I love and maybe watch a little ESPN. Not find my car-crash of a brother in my home! And now you want to grill me about something you clearly know nothing about? No. I'm going to lie down."

"Lucas!" I bellow as he rises from the couch. I'm swift to me feet too, scurrying behind him to keep up with his long strides. I stop him mid-step, halfway down the hall, my small hand gripping his arm. "You don't just get to walk away when you don't like something."

"I'm not walking away. I'm tired and I have a headache and I'd like to lie down for a few minutes. Is that too much to ask?"

"So what? I don't get to know anything? You know every thing about me Luke. Every silly, inane thing. But I feel like I'm missing out on big chunks of your life."

"Haley, I'm not trying to block you out. I just don't see the point in telling you about two people I have nothing to do with anymore. They're not in my life now and won't be in the future."

"But why Luke? Please." I beg. His face softens for a second before his jaw sets again and he closes himself off. "It's obvious that Nathan showing up is bothering you. Talk to me."

"God damn Haley! Will you just leave it alone? It's none of your fucking business!"

I jump back, dropping his arm like it has burnt me. The second the words leave his mouth I can tell that all he wants to do is take them back. His eyes go wide, his mouth drops open. He's used curse words around me, but he's never actually directed one at me before.

"Oh god, Haley." He stutters out as I stare at him in wonder. The regret on his features is growing by the second as I back away from him. "I'm so sorry baby. I swear I didn't mean it."

His words are replaying over and over in my head. The anger and harshness behind them is overwhelming. Tears are stinging at the back of my eyes as he cups my face in his rough hands.

"Baby, please." He pleads. His lips place frantic kisses to my face, any area of skin he can find. It takes me a minute to realize that tears are slipping down my face and he is wiping them away with his lips. "Please, please forgive me. I didn't mean it."

My eyes flutter shut as he pulls me flush against his body. His arms are tight around my back, holding me to him. "God, I'm so sorry. I promise I'll never do it again. I'll tell you whatever you want. Just please don't be upset."

His lips find my neck, sucking to it gently. His fingers clamp onto my waist as mine dance across his sculpted abs mindlessly. I'm more upset with him then I can ever remember being, but somehow as his lips press against my skin, my mind seems to let go of it all. I'll remember later, I'm sure of it, but for now I just want to be with him.

I moan as his teeth scrap across the base of my neck, his tongue instantly darting out too sooth the area. His lips are everywhere, kissing anywhere they can reach. My fingers gather in the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift movement.

"I'm so sorry baby." He murmurs into my ear, his tongue tracing the edge, sending warm chills down my spine. I thread my fingers through his messy hair and pull his mouth to mine, instantly gaining access.

We play with each other for a few minutes, my tongue teasing his and vice versa. His hands are woven into my hair, holding my mouth to his. I slip my hands down his taut chest and rest them against his belt.

My head starts to feel light so I pull away and reattach my lips to his collar. I suck on the warm skin, drawing it into my mouth as he groans his approval. His belt puts up a fight but I finally manage to unbuckle it.

"Hales." He groans again, his head falling back for a second. The button on his jeans is heard above our heaving breathing as I pop it open. "Haley wait." He places his hands on top of mine, stilling them.

I look up at him curiously. He takes a second to catch his breath. "We don't have to d—"

I grip his cheeks with one of my hands, his lips squeezing together as I do so. He looks at me quizzically. "Luke. Just shut up." I instruct him before capturing his lips between mine again.

That's all it takes for him. I become dizzy again as his lips move against mine, starving us both from air. I can feel my legs start to give out, and just when I think I can't possibly move, he backs us up. His figure towers above mine, pining me against the wall. His hard length is pressing into my hip and I feel a rush of excitement and satisfaction that I have that affect on him.

He's the first to pull away this time. My eyelids feel heavy as he focuses his attention on my neck. A rush of cold runs over me as my shirt is pulled off and thrown across the room. He grins against my heated skin as I pull him closer to keep the cold from getting to me.

His long fingers find their way to the edge of my skirt, pushing it up slowly. They flex against my skin, our pelvises grinding together. A grunt of desire tears from his throat at the contact.

I push hard against his chest, sending him stumbling backward. I close the gap between us, my brown eyes locking onto his blue. He holds my eyes as I continue to walk toward him, pushing him back to our room. A smirk overtakes his lips as my eyes wander down his chest and to the bulge in his pants threatening to break the strained zipper.

As we reach the door, he snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me once again flush against his body. I loop my fingers into his belt loops and pull us both into the room, kicking the door shut behind us.

So that's it for chapter 1. Please tell me what you think!


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